The idea that the wedding is yours doesnt seems simple, right? Afterall, it is you that is standing at the alter, who else can claim it is their wedding? Certainly no one. But this is more about the planning process rather than the actual ceremony itself.
Having been a wedding photographer for the past 18 years, we have photographed hundreds of weddings. One theme continues to creep into weddings we photograph. The couples plan the day for their guests, rather than themselves. They may choose certain décor. They made choose certain foods. They may choose a variety of other things to make sure their guests have a good time.
But why? Why do couples focus on making sure their guests have the best food, the best service, the best time at their wedding, rather than focus on things that they might want instead? Why do couples sacrifice their desires if they feel the guests might not like it?
A perfect example of this is the portraits taken during the wedding. One comment we get all the time is, “How long do portrait take after the wedding? We dont want our guests to sit there too long waiting on us?”
The problem here is that most couples value photography and the images their photographers create for them. Most would say that is one of the most important things on their wedding day. However, they dont want to take to long for fear of the guests getting bored. If its something that is important to you, why does it matter if the guests have to wait? If its important to you to have portraits you LOVE, why put a time limit on it? Why not let the photographer take the time that they need to get the images that YOU want? Afterall, after the wedding is over, the portraits remain, the guests do not.
This can be true for a number of other things as well, not just photography. The point here is that its important to remember whose wedding it is. Everyone wants their guests to have a great time. They want to have the “wedding of the year” that is talked about. However, the reality is, your guests attend a wedding after yours and then it becomes the wedding of the year, not yours. So all those things you decided on to appease your guests, dont really matter after the wedding is over.
What really matters is that you remember that it is YOUR wedding. It is YOU that has to enjoy the wedding day. It is YOU that the day is for. Make sure that you dont sacrifice too many of your visions to give the guests the wedding you think they want… and make sure it is the wedding that YOU want.
